


don't save her (she don't wanna be saved)

by totodile



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/F, F/M, M/M, Raven Reyes Loves Embarrassing Her Friends, Resolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-14 20:23:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5757067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totodile/pseuds/totodile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the mess that was freshman year, all Clarke Griffin wants is a wine-and-Netflix filled, relaxing sophomore year in her new apartment with her two best friends. </p><p>Enter Lexa Woods: scholarship soccer player, transfer student, Octavia's boyfriend's childhood best friend. After her heartbreaking last semester, she transferred in search of peace, quiet, and Lincoln. </p><p>Neither girl would DARE let something as trivial as a blossoming crush interfere with their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Naive

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This is my second ever fanfic (first is a little Marg/Sansa smutty drabble thing called "winter rose" on fanfiction . net) so I'd appreciate any (gentle) criticisms you have! 
> 
> I just couldn't get this AU out of my head. the 100 is one of those shows where you feel like you have to take the characters and put them somewhere happy and safe. So here we go!
> 
> (next couple of chapters will be much longer and hopefully better, I promise! (HA))

“We’re back, bitches!” Octavia yelled into the empty apartment. Her boundless enthusiasm elicited chuckles from Raven and Clarke. Glaring at her roommates over her shoulder Octavia grumbled, “What? Tell me you two _aren’t_ excited about all of this new-found freedom?” Raven snorted. “O, you’re just happy you can bang your boyfriend without getting the RA called on you multiple times a week.” 

Octavia merely grinned and shrugged half-heartedly, it was a truth she couldn’t deny. Clarke and Raven had already accepted the reality of this, mostly because they couldn’t help but adore Lincoln, Octavia’s boyfriend of a few months. What had started out as a drunken one-night stand turned into a drunken two-night, three-night, four-… until Raven finally begged that they hang out sober and explore something _other_ than each others’ bodies. 

It was a match made in heaven. They were both active people, Lincoln was even a scholarship hockey player for Mt. Weather University. The pair was constantly motivating each other, one-upping each other, molding each other into better people until they became the campus’s undeniable power couple. And where Octavia was harsh and loud, Lincoln (in contrast to his body) was soft and observant. He and Clarke were both Visual Arts majors and sat in the same quiet campus garden together to sketch. It was a silent bond between the two. 

Neither Clarke nor Raven had the same luck last year. Clarke’s mother spent the year pressuring her to major in something that would lead her to med school, despite Clarke’s frequent protests. Her life got exponentially better when she met Raven Reyes, a mechanical engineering major with big heart and a competitive streak. They bonded quickly while simultaneously vomiting in their dorm bathroom. Unfortunately, Clarke then went on to accidentally date Raven’s ex-boyfriend. This “betrayal” and Raven’s easily lit temper lead to the demise of their friendship, until Finn’s possessiveness lead to the abrupt end of his relationship with Clarke. Raven softened at that and welcomed Clarke back with open arms, muttering apologies all the way. 

Raven didn’t fare much better. Still steaming from Clarke’s relationship with Finn, she found refuge in the arms of whom she would later go on to call “Douche Supreme” – Octavia’s older brother, Bellamy. As the two still find themselves hanging out often, they have become committed to pretending that their hook up never happened.  
This year was different, though. There was something in the air, something that told the girls that only good things were on the horizon. As they unpacked, the three girls discussed their plans for the night. The frat that Monty, Jasper, and Bellamy (coerced by Monty and Jasper through promises of alcohol and sex) were in was throwing a party, and although the frat was never a really exciting place to go, it was a constant source of humor and free alcohol. Octavia texted Lincoln. 

**Octavia (3:35 pm):** heyyyy! what’re you doing tn?  
**Lincoln (3:35 pm):** whatever you’re doing  
**Octavia (3:36 pm):** lmao well we’re going to bell’s frat tonight. that sound good?  
**Lincoln (3:38 pm):** never. but yes. is it cool if I bring one of my old friends? she just transferred here and I wanted you guys to make friends with her. we could even set Clarke up with her.  
**Octavia (3:40 pm):** yes!!!! that girl needs to get laid ASAP  
**Lincoln (3:40 pm):** fair warning. Shes definitely not looking to date anyone. It would definitely be a one and done kinda thing, idk if Clarke is into that. 

Octavia relayed the message to Clarke, who scowled. “Stop trying to set me up with people. I can do that myself.” Repressing a smirk, Octavia retorted, “Really? So why haven’t you been laid since Finn?” Raven and Clarke winced at the mention of their mutual ex. “Not to bring up the sore subject, I just think you need to get out there.” Clarke sighed. “I know, I know. It’s just… I don’t know. I don’t think sex is a huge deal I just… I haven’t found someone who I would want to be intimate with like that again. And I doubt I could one and done something, I’m just not built like that.” 

The topic was dropped. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The frat wasn’t so bad that night. The music was good, the beer copious, and the group of friends were all in good spirits. Lincoln showed up a little late, with a girl in tow. Upon closer examination, it became clear the “girl” was not an appropriate description of her. She was gorgeous, her chestnut brown hair tied into an intricate braid and her deep green eyes made Clarke feel like she could see into her. Clarke flushed when they were introduced, wondering if she too knew that Lincoln and Octavia were attempting to set them up. Clarke couldn’t handle her intensity, or the knots that tangled in her stomach when Lexa spoke, so she excused herself to watch Raven expertly play beer pong.

It was then that in her periphery, Clarke caught sight of Finn. She cursed inwardly, and figured that Jasper and Monty probably felt guilty leaving him out of the party. Out of sheer nervousness – meeting the goddess that was Lexa Woods, seeing her ex – Clarke began to chug. There was no situation she couldn’t handle if she was wildly intoxicated! 

That was, until the unmistakable sense of nausea began to creep up her throat. Palms clammy, Clarke took refuge in a dark corner of the frat and closed her eyes, desperately willing away the urge to vomit. Naturally, because things couldn't get worse, Lexa took this moment to summon the courage to approach Clarke. She tapped the blonde on the shoulder, who lurched at the touch. “Hey.” Lexa said warmly. “We didn’t really get the chance to talk earlier. Besides Lincoln, I only know the girls I play soccer with. It’d be nice if I could actually become friends with some decent people here.” She smiled and Clarke decided that it was the most dazzlingly beautiful thing she had ever seen. 

Clarke began to speak and immediately clapped a hand over her mouth and groaned. Lexa gave her a puzzled look. Praying to all things holy, Clarke turned away from the girl and squeezed her eyes shut. Lexa’s questioning was drowned out by the buzzing in her brain and the inevitable vomit that was churning in her stomach. Clarke tried to wave Lexa away, mortified that _this_ was going to be impression that this ephemeral beauty had of her. Unable to hold it in anymore and unable to get Lexa to go away, Clarke began to yak in the corner of the frat. “Oh fuck!” Lexa yelped. “Oh shit oh shit oh no.” Frantically searching the crowded room, she called “Lincoln! Lincollllnnn!! Oh Jesus.” 

All of Clarke’s friends seemed to be MIA as Lexa wheeled her into the bathroom. Cursing this girl and every one of her friends, Lexa texted her roommate, Anya, and let her know she was driving home to take care of the nearly comatose girl kneeling in front of the toilet. 

Lexa half carried, half dragged Clarke into the car. The girl mumbled things incoherently during the drive, and didn’t stir until they arrived at Lexa’s. “Hmm?” she mumbled. “Where am I?” Catching sight of Lexa, she grinned stupidly. “Oh wwwwoooow. Am I at your place? Go me. Go Clarke.” Lexa wanted to scowl, wanted so much to be annoyed by the obliterated girl in front of her, but found herself chuckling instead. 

She changed Clarke’s stained clothes, while dodging sloppy kisses that Clarke attempted to plant on her. As she laid Clarke in her bed, the girl dragged Lexa down with her, finally scoring a kiss on the base of her throat. Clarke suckled the skin and Lexa bit her lip, suppressing a moan and the urge to pounce on this girl. Instead, she detached herself and laid facing away from the now-complaining blonde beside her. They laid in a tense sort of peace for a few moment until Clarke leapt off the bed, hand over mouth. Lexa quickly dragged her to the bathroom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Clarke woke up in only a large overshirt, head pressed against the toilet. Mortified at the many embarrassing possibilities of last night, she rose slowly to open the medicine cabinet and stood, confused for a few seconds before she found the Advil. “When did I rearrange this?” she mused, numbly removed the shirt and entering the room outside. She undid her bra, keeping her eyes closed in fear of the dreaded sun, and when she opened them she found herself face to face with the very green eyes she was hoping to avoid. 

Wailing apologies, she threw the shirt back on. The two girls stood in an embarrassed stalemate for a while until Clarke began, “Uh… did I… did we?” Lexa shook her head. “No, you just got sick and we couldn’t find your friends, so I took you back here so you wouldn’t have to puke in that disgusting frat bathroom anymore. Although…” Lexa grinned. “You _did_ do this.” She pointed to the unmistakable hickey on the base of her throat. Clarke clapped her hands over her face. “I am so sorry. I don’t even know what to say I didn’t know what to do last night my ex showed up and I was nervous meeting YOU and everything was so weird and I just kept drinking and I-” 

Lexa cut her off by putting her hand up. “Please. Don’t worry about it. You were very funny. C’mon, I’ll give you a ride home.” 

The car ride was awkward and almost completely silent. Mumbling thank you’s, Clarke escaped into her apartment and shook her head at the puzzled glances of her roommate. She took a shower and texted Lincoln for Lexa’s number. 

**Clarke (10:30 am):** Hey, it’s Clarke from last night. Just wanted to say sorry and thank you again and sorry for the hickey and everything. lol.  
**Lexa (10:35am):** Once again, don’t worry about it. And hey, maybe Lincoln will stop telling me to get laid if he sees me with a hickey. lmao 

Clarke sighed, fell back into her pillow, and lapsed into a dream about her beautiful, emotionally unavailable savior.


	2. Unsteady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Welcome to chapter 2. I'm starting to find that transferring my ideas to text is a little more tedious than I thought, but I tried my best to make this chapter longer and better proofread. 
> 
> This chapter is named after a song by X Ambassadors and I think it's fitting for its tone. Our girls are beginning to get a little ~unsteady~

The week passed without an embarrassing incident, thank god. The single time Clarke encountered Lexa on campus the girl just nodded, smiling knowingly. Clarke returned the gesture, albeit a little flustered. She couldn’t help but notice the fading purple mark on Lexa’s neck. Eventually everything returned to normal. No one mentioned the events of last weekend and Lexa's name was only spoken in conjunction with Lincoln's. Even Raven stopped mocking Clarke about “the incident” and Raven Reyes wasn’t known for letting _anything_ go. It was an irritating, endearing trait of hers.

As the weekend approached, Octavia asserted that she would _not_ be going back to Bellamy's frat any time soon. Something about her brother in that setting, flirting with any warm body that approached him, was deeply unsettling. Clarke silently agreed, more so because she wasn't looking to reminisce about the various stains she had caused around the house. Raven wasn't an initial fan of her roommates' plan to hold a house warming party, but any and all of her protests were quickly discarded when she came home on Thursday proudly waving a 100% score on her Chemistry exam. The guest list was small: Jasper, Monty, Miller, Bellamy, Lincoln and a few of his friends would be invited. Clarke nodded in assent at every name mentioned, but silently prayed to whatever god was out there that Lexa was not among Lincoln’s “friends”. She didn’t think she could handle actually interacting with the girl after her unintentional strip show. 

She tried not to think about all the embarrassing possibilities of having Lexa in her home and instead chose to focus on all the drinking games her friends would come up with at the party. Monty and Jasper were especially known for their innovation, as well as their inappropriateness. Never Have I Ever was always raunchy with those two, who couldn’t get through any kind of card game without suggesting adding some kind of stripping aspect to it. It was never dull with Clarke’s friends around. She smiled at the thought.

 

* * *

 

Despite convincing herself that a) Lexa was not coming and b) it didn’t _matter_ if Lexa was coming, Clarke spent 30 minutes putting together and criticizing everything she was wearing.

As the party went underway, Clarke couldn’t help the relief she felt every time the door opened and it wasn’t Lexa. Unfortunately, the relief was short lived. As she heard the unmistakable pound of Lincoln’s enormous fist on the door, she steeled herself for the inevitable. There she was: tight black jeans, clingy powder blue top. “God”, Clarke wondered. “Does she own anything that _don’t_ accentuate every line on her body?” Cursing to herself, Clarke turned away from the new guests and immediately occupied herself with drying wine glasses she now desperately needed to put to use.

What she didn’t expect was the sound of an approaching smug voice, “What? The party animal hasn’t begun drinking yet?” Clarke flushed and turned to face a smirking Lexa, leaning against her fridge. “I think I’m all out of party.”, she replied dryly. At that retort, Lexa laugh in a carefree, unusual manner, throwing her head back against the fridge. Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Unlike someone else. Seems like you started the party a little early.” The dark hair girl chuckled again, and Clarke was annoyed to find that goosebumps spread across her neck at the sound. “Princess, if you think I’m drunk after a pregame you are severely underestimating me.”

The “princess” remark stung, but it felt more endearing than insulting. Lexa moved next to Clarke and gingerly picked up a wine glass. She reached over Clarke to grab the bottle of wine on the kitchen counter, and seemed to almost deliberately brush against her. “Pardon my reach”, she grinned, filling the glass to the brim. She continued to smile and Clarke couldn’t help but return the grin. “Cheers.” Lexa declared, and walked away to join Lincoln and Anya in the living room.

As the night progressed, Clarke tried desperately to keep Lexa off her mind; her smile, her laugh, her oh-so-tight pants. This wasn’t an easy task; because the normally calm and collected enigma had taken on the role of the life of the party, constantly double fisting a beer and a wine glass. She talked loudly, demanding the attention of those around her. It was hard for anyone at the party to not be transfixed by her.

As soon as she noticed Clarke’s gaze on her, Lexa sauntered over to where she was seated on the couch, smirking. Plopping down directly next to Clarke, and definitely to close too her, she remarked, “You know, Clarke, you could alllllwayyys take a picture. I hear they last longer.” Without a rebuttal, Clarke simply scoffed and turned to face away from the brunette, who had scooted herself even closer to her. Immediately self conscious and ever aware of just how much her roommates _loved_ to tease her, Clarke scanned the room to see if anyone at the party was watching the girls’ interaction.

Octavia and Lincoln were nowhere to be found (“Fucking.”, Clarke thought, “Definitely fucking.”) Anya had clearly not been able to keep up with her teammate’s intake and was passed out on the recliner, lightly snoring. Bellamy and Miller were talking quietly and intensely in the kitchen. (“I guess it’s that part of the night where certain people feel the need to have deep, drunken conversations.”) Raven, Jasper, and Monty where nowhere to be seen, but the sound of Mario Kart and screaming emanated from Raven’s room.

Clarke’s reverie was interrupted by the slurred coo, “Clarrrrrkkeee. You can’t ignore me forrrreverrr.”. Clarke winced as Lexa slid her arm over her stomach to pull her against her. Although Clarke was almost completely sober and therefore in good control of her actions, the feeling of Lexa’s warm breath on her neck was enough to unravel any rational thought in her mind. Clarke detached herself from Lexa’s strong grip. “Maybe you should follow Anya’s suit and hit the hay.” Lexa made a strangled kind of laughing noise. “Are you _kidding?_ That girl is a LOAD. I have severallll more hours to go. Unless of course, you’re offering to take me to bed.” On that note, she picked up an abandoned mixed drink off the coffee table and with a wag of her eyebrows, downed it.

Clarke knew the end was near by the panicked look in Lexa’s eyes. She immediately grabbed the brunette’s hand and hauled her off the couch and into the bathroom in her room. As Lexa began to vomit, Clarke smoothed back her hair and rubbed her back, leaving only to retrieve Tums and a bottle of water. She didn’t mind doing this; she thought that maybe after taking care of her like this, Lexa would no longer have such a strong power over her. Every time they talked, Clarke felt defenseless against Lexa, perpetually embarrassed by her. In a sick way, she was thankful that she got to help the girl through this ordeal.

It was almost an hour before the vomit fully subsided. “What the _hell_ did you eat today?” Clarke exclaimed at the 30-minute mark. All she got from the head in the toilet was an echoed chuckle and a muffled, “I’m sorry.” Softening at the apology, Clarke moved to once again rub Lexa’s back. “Don’t be sorry. You and I both know it happens to the best of us.”

Clarke gave Lexa one of her own oversized shirts and helped her change out of her own sweaty, stained clothes. She took note of a back tattoo filled with odd symbols that descended evenly down Lexa's spine and had to contain herself from running her fingers on the design. She decided she would ask about them at another time. As Lexa finished changing and Clarke helped her up, Clarke wondered how the night escalated to this. She wondered how her relationship with Lexa had evolved to this… this strange back and forth of severe intoxication. And as she led the muscular soccer star to her bed, she wondered how someone could possibly manage to still look amazing after a full hour of vomiting.

As Lexa settled in the bed, Clarke moved to return to the living room, resigning herself to a night on the couch. She was stopped by a hand, gently pulling her arm back. “Please don’t leave.” Lexa murmured. “I want you to stay.” Clarke’s stomach twisted in a knot and her heart thumped so loudly that she was _sure_ that the other girl could hear her nervousness. But she lay down next to her anyway, turning her back. She couldn’t face her, was too afraid of the intimacy of lying face to face with this terrifying beauty. Lexa’s arm snaked to pull Clarke against her, her warm breath muttering nonsense into the back of her neck.

Listening to Lexa’s quiet breathing, Clarke could do nothing but curse at herself. She couldn’t help it; she couldn’t deny it to herself any longer. She wished that _maybe_ her heart would’ve taken it slow, but no. She was falling headlong and hopelessly in love with this stoic, charming, strong, beautiful mess of a woman.

 

* * *

 

Clarke woke feeling more comfortable and refreshed than usual. Stretching her arms above her, she turned sideways and involuntarily yelped at Lexa’s foreign presence. The other girl stirred immediately and upon noticing her bedmate, threw herself into the wall on the side of the bed. Lexa groaned, rubbing her temples and side before sizing Clarke up. “Uh… good morning.” A smile tugged at Clarke’s lips. “And you call _me_ Princess. Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

Scowling, Lexa looked around the room and down at herself, in Clarke’s clothes. Slowly she started, “I’m sorry, this is a shitty question to ask someone. But did we…?” she trailed off, not able to verbalize her fears. Clarke’s grin widened. “Nope. I just returned last week’s favor.” She remembered the words Lexa had teased her with when the situation was reversed. “You were very funny.”

Lexa frowned, running a hand through her unkempt braid. “Jeez, that explains why my mouth tastes like shit. I’m really sorry.” “Don’t worry about it, really.” Clarke insisted. “The only problem now is figuring out how to get you out of this room without a whole parade of spectators cheering us on.” Clarke sat up and craned her head to look at her alarm clock. “But it’s 11AM and after my friends drink they refuse to move until _at least_ 1, so we should be good.”

Lexa rose off the bed, stretching and cracking her joints as she padded her way over to her clothes. Nimbly tucking Clarke’s shirt into last night’s pants, she spun around. “How do I look?” Clarke giggled at the sight of Lexa, an enormous pajama shirt embroidered with a picture of a kitten tucked into tight black jeans. It was a rare moment without pretense. Neither girl had anything left to guard. Lexa’s intensity was lost as she sashayed her way down an imaginary catwalk, spinning and striking poses. Clarke was overjoyed that Lexa felt no need to maintain her tough, aloof image around her, at least for the moment.

Still lightly giggling, the pair quietly exited Clarke’s room and tiptoed through the hallway, careful not to disturb the nuisances slumbering behind the doors they passed. Hungover Raven and Octavia were two sleeping dragons that Clarke couldn't handle. And the girls got _so_ close to freedom. But as they turned toward the living room, the hallway light abruptly shot on. Wincing at the thought of what was behind them, Clarke and Lexa slowly turned to face the grins of everyone (who wasn’t Anya, still passed out on the couch) in the house. Raven was the first to step forward. “Well, well, _well_. What do we have here? I’m glad someone besides O and Lincoln finally had a wild night.”

Lexa slapped a hand over her burning face and turned away from the mob. Clarke could only sputter, blushing crimson. “We didn’t – we haven’t – I’ve NEVER – I – Raven why must – I don’t know _anything_ \- Lexa isn’t even –” Unable to say any more, Clarke tired herself out gesturing at Raven until her head slumped against the wall of the hallway in shame. Lexa, now in control of her words and thoughts, shot the crowd a glare and protested, “Give the girl a break. She spent the night helping me puke.” Octavia look puzzled. Looking from Clarke to Lexa and back, her brow furrowed. “Wait, C, you hooked up with someone _after_ they puked? Gross."

Smothering her face even further into the wall, Clarke let out a muffled groan. Lexa clapped a hand over her face in defeat.

* * *

 

Despite the jeering looks she received from her roommates for the rest of the weekend, Clarke was content. Her grades were good, her friends were better, and she had even exchanged a few lighthearted texts with Lexa throughout the weekend. Now that she was fully embracing her crush, Clarke no longer felt a seeping pit of anxiety in her stomach when she thought about Lexa. It was replaced by a warmth that spread all the way to her toes when they interacted. That feeling was just as unnerving as the pit, but less daunting. All of the uneasiness she felt in Lexa’s presence had dissipated. She now just needed to focus on not letting her admiration interfere with their friendship. Clarke learned from Octavia that Lexa's long-term girlfriend had cheated on her last semester, which was her very reason for transferring. Octavia frowned after she finished breaking the news to Clarke. "I don't want you getting hurt, C. Don't get too deep into this girl." It was hard for Clarke to accept that her feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated, at least not any time soon, so she focused on maintaining a friendship with Lexa. Something was better than nothing.

The University had off that Monday, so to combat their boredom on Sunday, the girls decided to host a friendly game night at their place. It wasn't as if their friend group consisted of some of the most competitive students on campus, so nothing could possibly go wrong. 

Octavia dealt with the invites, and Clarke and Raven trusted her judgment enough not to think twice about it. As it got later, the usual suspects filed in the apartment door. Bellamy entered solemnly, closely followed by Monty and Miller. According to Monty, their frat was having a social and Jasper was _convinced_ he could get laid. The next knock on the door was Lincoln’s, Clarke could tell. Grinning, she unlatched the deadbolt and swung the door open, beaming. Lincoln was there, sure, but Lexa was directly behind him. Clarke’s face instinctively flushed at the sight of her. She ushered the pair into the living room, shooting daggers at Octavia, who was smiling innocently in the kitchen. “If looks could kill…” she murmured in Raven’s ear.

Miller and Monty seemed more interested in chatting quietly in the kitchen, sipping wine, than they did playing the actual games. When Lexa attempted to get them the join, she was quickly shut down by the residents of the apartment. Monty and Miller had an obvious mutual attraction that neither ever had the balls to admit, so any intimate interaction between them was maintained by the friends. At this explanation, Lexa looked around at the intense expressions on the faces of those in the room and grinned. "You're good people." The games continued, and the arguments grew louder and the side-comments became more personal. After a particularly harrowing game of Monopoly, Bellamy snatched up his keys and announced that he was leaving, dragging the duo behind him. With a parting glare over his shoulder he exclaimed, "And you're all fucking cheaters anyway." 

Lexa and Clarke, on the other hand, were heavily engaged in a battle of wits. Their abilities to strategize were unparalleled by their friends, and almost every game ended with Raven groaning, "Can you two just call it a draw?" That is – until Battleship was introduced into the playing field. Before Lexa named her target, she studied Clarke’s eyes intensely, until the blonde broke eye contact. It was only then that Lexa made her choice, and was right nearly every time. Clarke became more and more flustered at the loss of her ships, and accused Lexa of cheating. Lexa just shrugged. “I don't cheat. You’re just easier to read than you’d like to think, Princess.” Clarke became suddenly interested in the board below her.

Time passed quickly and when the friends realized how late it had gotten, Lincoln and Lexa were invited to stay over. As Octavia extended this invitation, Raven interjected as casually as possible, “Clarke’s bed is very comfortable, isn’t it Lex? I’m sure you two can snuggle up there, you know she doesn’t mind.” Raven cackled, dodging the pillows thrown at her by a cursing, raving Clarke. But Lexa just chuckled and held a hand up. “I’m perfectly comfortable on the couch, but thank you for offering _for_ Clarke.”  


The group turned on the TV and Octavia flipped idly to some movie about nature. She and Lincoln lasted all of 15 minutes before “subtly” scooting off the couch and into Octavia’s room. Raven was the next to go, unable to keep her eyes open, mumbling that she couldn't stand nature documentaries. Lexa and Clarke remained on the couch, both determined not to look at each other. As Clarke shifted under the covers, her foot accidentally brushed against Lexa’s. She closed her eyes and held her breath, fully expecting Lexa's taunt. “Are you trying to play footsies with me?” she chided, her smile evident even through the dimness of the room. Clarke scoffed, and chucked a pillow in Lexa’s direction. Lexa deftly caught it, tsking. They began a war of feet and pillows until they were nearly wrestling on the couch, both girls flushed and panting. Clarke had captured Lexa's legs between her own, but Lexa's arms had pinned both of hers together. Their faces were close enough to feel the exhalation of warm breath from the other.

Clarke turned away as she became aware of their position. She scooted herself down the couch and turned to the girl. “Are you sure you’re okay here? I know Raven was fucking with you but you really are welcome in my room. Not like you haven't slept there before.” Clarke didn’t know how she wanted Lexa to respond. She wanted so desperately for her to say yes, for them to cuddle contently in her room. But Clarke knew that wouldn't satisfy the ache she felt for the brunette. Lexa smiled softly, “You three have been more than inviting to me. I’m perfectly fine on the couch.” Nodding, Clarke got up and moved to retreat to her room. But as she stood, she felt the terrifying tug of a blanket wrapped tightly around her ankles and fell face first into Lexa, her head knocking into the brunette’s shoulder.

The only sound in the room came indistinctly from the TV. Clarke felt like she was completely naked in front of Lexa once again, her green eyes peering intently into her confused blues. The two simply stared at the each other, at an impasse, no one sure of what move to make. They swallowed at the same time, hard. It was Lexa who moved first, crashing her mouth against Clarke’s in a bruising kiss, but it was Clarke’s fingers that frantically tangled in Lexa’s hair, pulling her closer.

Lexa’s teeth traced the bottom edge of Clarke’s lips and, finding their intended target, bit down, eliciting a gasp from the blonde. Lexa took the opportunity to weave her tongue around Clarke’s, moving rhythmically, pushing so hard against her that Clarke wasn’t sure where her mouth ended and Lexa’s began. Lexa was struck by how sweet and flowery Clarke smelled this close. She could hear Clarke's breath stutter as she gasped for air. Clarke's hands moved to cup her face and Lexa gripped them tightly, fingers interlacing, as she pressed deeper into the kiss. Lexa cursed her lungs when they burned for air, and pulled away reluctantly.

As they broke apart, Clarke felt a surge of embarrassment and uneasiness. She stood, staring down at a puzzled Lexa. With a muttered, “Goodnight. Sleep well.”, she quickly exited her room. Emotions coursed through her. She’d been told time and time again that Lexa wasn't interested in a relationship, that she wasn't emotionally available after her last girlfriend broke her heart. Clarke knew she couldn't handle that, couldn't allow someone to treat her like a simple fuck. She needed someone stable, to reciprocate healthy feelings. Someone unlike Finn, who would treat her like something of value, instead of something that needed to be hidden from the world. Lexa wasn't capable of that. “It’s fine.” Clarke tried to convince herself. “It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.”

Swallowing tears and the taste of Lexa on her lips, Clarke faded in a fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hold, hold on, hold onto me. 'Cause I'm a little unsteady._
> 
>    
> Hoping get each update out in a week or less, but chapter 3 is dipping into some story lines that aren't quite mapped out yet, so I can't guarantee that. But I can promise that smut is on our horizon! 
> 
> xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> she's so naive yet so...


End file.
